Annie Dillard Startled Me!

It startled me when Annie Dillard ended such a dark and depressing book on a light note. For almost two hundred pages, I hurt. Reading the stories of genocide, of deformed babies, of murders... It was pretty rough. Fascinating, but rough. I suppose there were bits and pieces of optimism laced throughout the book, but I felt pretty negatively for the majority of my reading. I suck into a mini depression with each new story. Reading the horrific things that happen, sometimes naturally, sometimes at the hand of another man, is emotional. Death is something that is difficult for me to embrace at this point in my life. Logically, I know it is a part of life, and yet it is often difficult for me to see past the pain. I was constantly reminded of my own experiences of death reading this book. But with such an optimistic end, I had to go back and explore. Upon rereading, I saw all of the positives, all of the uplifting tidbits that were scattered throughout these pages. I realized that the whole time, Dillard was attempting to get me to see the contradictions; to hold two contradictory yet equally true thoughts in my mind simultaneously. This is not something that comes easily to me, which is likely why I missed it at first. Upon further reflection, I was able to see both the optimism and the pessimism, the hope and the despair. Dillard asks the reader to consider the importance of the dead, and also focus on the new and beautiful lives that surround us every day.

Two quotes at the end of this book that are on adjacent pages really struck me. “When one of us dies…it is as if an eye of the world had closed” (196). “It says in the Bible that to save a life is to save the entire world” (197).  At first these two quotes seemed to me to be contradictions. They seemed different. Then I realized they were saying the same thing, two sides of the same coin. Dillard fully understands and embraces the concept of the sanctity of human life. She also understands that an important and, of course, inevitable part of life is death. As depressing as it sometimes was, I realize that she was merely encouraging me to go deeper, to consider the beauty inherent in death, as it is a part of life. Upon further reflection, I got the idea that Dillard thinks life is extraordinary, so much so that we should not forget the lives (and deaths) of the 85 billion who came before us, but rather we should embrace and celebrate what has passed. Life is a beautiful thing, be it the beginning, the middle, or the end!