I've been in a bit of an odd place recently. I made some major life changes, and it's left me feeling pretty empty. I mostly stopped drinking, and it's amazing how much of my social life that was, and how much that has affected some of my friendships. I'm taking much better care of myself. And, wonderful as it is, it feels so much less fulfilling right now. Sleeping eight or more hours a night is taking time out of other things in my life. It's devastatingly hard. But now that my body is getting used to it, I realize how much I need it.

I suppose I'm confused. I'm taking good care of myself, I'm doing my responsibilities, I'm volunteering fifteen hours a week. Why am I feeling so meaningless? Going to the gym is such a struggle right now. Not to mention getting out of bed. Every day, I have to convince myself to get up. The only thing that gets me up is work or classes, and sometimes, that isn't even enough. I went to three classes this past week. That's not okay, and that's not like me. I am feeling wholeheartedly unmotivated. And I have no idea why. I know I'm not spending as much time partying and hanging out with friends, but those things weren't necessarily adding much to my life. I suppose they may have been covering up a void. But now that those "coping" mechanisms are gone, I'm not sure how to replace them, nor do I feel I have the energy and willpower to do so. I suppose I'm feeling stuck. And it's because I don't want to face what I am feeling inside: completely lost. I don't know where I'm heading right now, and I don't know myself. And the process of self-discovery is terrifying. 

I don't really have another choice. Here goes nothing!